Accompaniment

Accompaniment is the secret of good formation. The work of the formator is to mirror the on-going process of self development and growth which should be part of the whole life of the Congregation. Indeed, the exercise of authority and obedience is always more relational than directive.

So right from the start, men (or even youth) presenting themselves as candidates for Redemptorist life need some form of accompaniment. Walking with another is a task which need not be limited to a designated formator. At times the accompanier can be an older Redemptorist, at times a non Redemptorist, or at times a lay person, depending on the situation and the type of accompaniment required. However, it is important to stress that the Formation Director is always the primary accompanier whose approval is required where any form of ‘outside’ accompaniment does take place.

Let us look at the various stages of formation and see what might be appropriate for each stage.

Vocational Accompaniment

Obviously it would be impossible for the Directors of Vocations to personally accompany each young person who shows an interest in joining us. However, even at this stage some accompaniment is required as well as some discernment. It is the task of the Vocations’ Director to invite the aspirant to one of our houses for periodic visits (this is a part of accompaniment), but also to help the young person find a priest, sister, brother or lay person who can, from time to time, assist the aspirant with some form of roadmap for the future. A monthly meeting with such a person could be encouraged. Fidelity to such meetings would be a good yardstick with which to measure the seriousness of the aspirants’ wishes.

What needs to be thought through is: a) Is any report required from the accompanier? b) If payment is required, who is responsible?

Postulancy

During this time the candidates moves into a closer form of accompaniment. This takes the form of both spiritual direction and vocational discernment. It will be on a more regular basis and be more focused. During this period it would not be recommend that the candidates seek outside spiritual direction, but dialogues with the formator.

Novitiate

Here spiritual direction is delicate and is both connected with life discernment choices and also the ability to sustain and develop a living relationship with Jesus. During the novitiate accompaniment is at its most intense in a sense. While openness is a pre-requisite of any accompaniment, the Novice Master, is not to confuse this with spiritual nudity. Some privacy of the heart has also to be afforded the Novice. Of course this is given in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. However, freedom and space are prerequisites of healthy growth. So the Novice Director has to have some training in the art of accompaniment, which at this stage is par excellence, a spiritual accompaniment. At the end of the Novitiate the Novice is to surrender his heart to God through the vows. So the Novice Director has at least to be aware of the direction of the heart. This is achieved through regular and focused meetings which we have traditionally called colloquia.

Temporary Profession

These are often the years of growth and development. They are also the years of comparative freedom after the Novitiate. Each temporary professed confrere should be encouraged to find a spiritual director either from the Redemptorist family or outside. It is important that the approval of the Prefect is obtained. Often providing a list of approved directors can help. These meetings should complement the regular colloquia which must still take place. Here the accompaniment is to enable the confreres to deeper his commitment to the Lord, to the Congregation and to the people, especially the abandoned and poor. Obviously accompaniment should include both the vowed life and the apostolic outreach – with attention to relationships within the community also being kept in mind. Here a balance is sought – to give as much freedom as possible and to see how it is handled, and yet to see how much personal responsibility is assumed.

(The General Ratio foresees a special month of preparation for Perpetual Profession which is a separate issue)

Early years of Ministry

This is the most difficult time to provide accompaniment. It is difficult because first of all the newly professed or ordained person in ministry want to be free – to experience the power of the Word and the ministry. It is also difficult because it is not easy to schedule regular times of meetings and to find people willing and able to accompany these men. However, all our statistics tell us that this is the time when most confreres experiences serious problems. Therefore a programme of accompaniment should be laid down in the local ratio. Again, accompaniment at this stage should not have any flavour of ‘Big Brother’ watching – but rather that of a friend travelling with the new person, and guiding them when they get lost or move into difficult or dangerous areas. It is a most difficult time for superiors. The balance between showing interest and not being perceived as invasive is delicate. An open talk with the new confreres at the beginning of this experience will help. Above all a regular schedule of the meeting with the accompanier should be set out.

Special Forms of Accompaniment

Colloquium

Colloquium, that familiar talk with the person responsible for the pastoral care of an individual at anyone stage of his life, has always been a feature of Redemptorist formation. It is neither spiritual direction nor a complete manifestation of conscience.  Colloquium is an opportunity for a relationship of trust and openness to develop, especially with reference to the ongoing growth of the Redemptorist spirit. Styles of colloquium will vary according to the individuals involved. However, it is vital that this meeting be regular, confidential and fraternal, conducted in an atmosphere of mutual trust and affirmation.

Colloquium is an opportunity to ‘let off steam’, to talk about fears and frustrations, to look into community relationships, to talk about the individual’s relations with the Lord, and indeed to cover the whole field of Redemptorist living. It is in fact the primary support tool in initial formation. Among areas that should be covered in colloquia are: a) presence to self, b) presence to God, c) presence to others.

This means that areas such as health, relationships, prayer life, recreational outlets, sexuality, study and pastoral ministry will all be features of good colloquia carried out over the months and years.

Support Counselling

It is important to recognise that formators on the whole are ‘general practitioners’ in their fields. They are not, and cannot be, specialists in psychology, spirituality, counselling, mentoring and all the other fields involved in formation. Thus a back-up system for referrals should be in place. Normally, the years of formation, while they are years of growth, are not the years for in-depth counselling or therapy. However, it may be that from time to time we encounter a confrere in formation who has special needs. Often these have emerged through Religious living, or may not have been adequately dealt with at a previous stage. It would be vital to state that the Formator is not the psychological counsellor of the confrere in formation. Where the confrere is receiving temporary counselling from an outside agent, the relationship between the Director and the counsellor must respect professional boundaries. The relationship between the Director and the counsellor should, from the beginning, be clear to all three involved.

Supervision in Pastoral Ministry

During formation there will always be ongoing pastoral work. There will even be in many Units extended periods of pastoral placement. With the latter, the choice of place must be made with due respect for sufficient support of the young confrere. Also a supervisor of pastoral work must appreciate that his role is not spiritual director, or counsellor but director of pastoral approaches and styles. He is to observe the work done in the placement, evaluate the confrere’s involvement, encourage, mentor and advise – all with specific reference to the pastoral initiatives being undertaken. He is then to submit a report to the Director. As with all stages of formation, when speaking of accompaniment, cross reference must be made to the particular stage of formation, as highlighted in the Handbook.

Models of Accompaniment

There is no perfect model of accompaniment. Models differ according to culture, tradition and time. The Eastern tradition of Master/disciple is one that for centuries found favour in our Congregation, especially at the level of Novitiate. In recent years different models have been tried at the various levels of formation. The models of director and directee, of mentor and soul friend, of supervisor and trainee, of elder and neophyte, of leader and follower have all been in place with varying degrees of success. What is important in the accompaniment, is that at least the Formator knows out of which model he is operating, and communicates this to the formandee. So, for example, it may be appropriate at the stage of postulancy to enter into a type of non directive relationship with a young man exploring his vocation, whereas in preparing for Vows, a more direct style might be favoured. Formators are to find the model of accompaniment suitable for the society in which they live and in which they feel comfortable to work.

Outside Support Systems

From time to time young people will come to us from a background of having a strong support system. It might be a prayer group or a religious movement; it could be a therapy group, a twelve step group or a peer supervision group. It is unrealistic to expect them to exit immediately from these. Yet during the postulancy (and even before that if possible), there should be an invitation to begin the process of weaning away, and investing the energy put into that specific group, into the Redemptorist formation system. This can be a difficult time for the formator, where the formandee is receiving conflicting advice and even instructions, one from within and one from without. Ultimately, the optimum solution is to find support, especially in the early years of formation, within our own structures. This is really possible where we have good trained formation personnel.

Transition out of Religious Life

People often leave us either feeling listened to and focused for the future, or angry and directionless. During the years of discernment in initial formation, it may come clear to both the formator and the formandee that the choice of Redemptorist life for an individual is not a suitable one. At times this may be clear to the formation staff, but not so clear to the individual. What is important is that there be on-going dialogue and support. When a person leaves our formation system there should also be some form of ‘care package’. This means possibilities of on-going support are offered, perhaps some education direction can be given or career advice can be investigated. The family of the person should also be kept in the picture as far as the boundaries of confidentiality allow.

Spiritual Direction

Spiritual direction is a vital part of the process of growth and development in our Redemptorist life. It has always been a feature of our way of living in fidelity to Christ. As indicated above, increasingly, the spiritual directors of those in formation are frequently non Redemptorists. This can have a value. However, it is again important to stress that vigilance over time spent with the spiritual directors, dependency on them and the suitability of such directors be overseen by the Formation Director. Vigilance is also necessary where members of the ‘formed’ community appear to be over involved with those in formation. Again, healthy boundaries are to be observed here.

This does not claim to be an exhaustive section on accompaniment. What is vital is that the link between the formandee and the formator is kept alive at all times through regular and structured meetings.